Since my parents wont allow a pond...they wont even buy me a 100 gallon stock tank..i was wondering if theres anything really cheap u can use that i could buy myself. I only have like $15 but my mom owes me allowance and Im trying to get a job so maybe i'll get some more money. Anything cheap I could buy?

I have often wondered how a child's swimming pool would work as a small pond. The main problem though would be keeping stray and wild animals away from it.

Just a thought.

yeah i guess that could work. I would put a net over it to protect the fish from predators

those childrens pools are too shallow and it would get too hot..

Thats a good point that I hadn't thought of. Even if she kept it in the shade it would likely be too shallow and probably not a permanent solution for a pond.

Hmmm. We'll keep thinking Shamu.

I was thinking of saving money for the stock tank. My mom said I wasnt allowed to buy it but then again she cant really tell me what not to buy if its my own money.

Oh, how wrong you are!!! If she doesn't give her permission, it would be wrong and foolish to go against her wishes.
Not a good habit to get into.

Oliver

Jule,
Maybe you could save some money up to buy the 100 gallon tank. Show your mom how responsible you are: write out a plan, kinda like how you would do your homework; make a list of the pros and cons; set up a list of things you would need, the cost, the time you spend with the fish and the tank, how much the filters cost, food, meds (basically have everything planned out to the last detail in writing). After you have all the money saved up for the whole tank set up and a little extra for emergencies, present her with your well thought out and professional presentation (add some pictures of what your dream tank would look like, the type of fish, what is special about those fish, how this can be a growing and learning process for you). She may well be impressed with your efforts and make some sort of deal with you. You never know until you try. Even if she says no to the 100 gallon she might let you get an upgrade from what you have now. With each new adventure tried (and succeeded) the way may be paved for fish upgrades. Good luck to you!

There is never a stupid question except for the one the wasn't asked!

Steph
Also, you could make money..well in the US we can collect aluminum cans and glass bottles for cash, paper delivery route, maybe work at a fish store, mow lawns, whatever. It doesn't matter how long it takes. A little at a time will add up!

Newbie gave you some very good ideas. I would do as she says and start saving you money. It could be your Mom is waiting to she to see how you handle your new tanks.Didn't I just read in another thread that she just bought you and your brother or sister some new tanks?

thanks for the ideas. I've already tried all of them but I guess i'll try again. My parents are just so stubborn i dont even see y they wont allow it cuz she knows that i can take care of it myself and that she wouldnt have anything to do with it. And since she doesnt realy like the look of a stock tank and she doesnt want an inground pond i even offered to put it somewhere where no one would see it (although that would b kinda dumb not wanting people to see it) but she still says no. If after all this she still says no maybe i'll just save up the money buy one somehow without her noticing and set it up where she wont see it lol, im just not sure how to get one without her noticing...but Im hoping to convince her eventually.



i really dont care what she says or thinks she's not the boss of me, i have my own rights

Normally I like to lurk these types of posts, but from experience I must say.

Whether you are living with your parents, a room mate, a loved one or anyone. The feelings of the people who live with you must be consiered.

In your case we are speaking of your parent(s), these are the people that give you the things you 'need'. Maybe not the things you 'want'. But they are the people that keep a roof over your head and keep you fed and clothed. This is not the best place to stage a demonstration against something you feel is unjust.

Anytime you speak to your parents about your ideas you should do so in a calm and calculated manner. The more mature you act during these discussions, the more they will consider your idea as a good one. Don't fly off of the handle or any of that good stuff. And follow thru on what newbiefish... said.

One thing that stands true for all of God's creations is "Never bite the hand that feeds you". And I would suggest you listen more to Newbie's post and less to that little red fella on your shoulder. :-p

Unless your sidebar information is incorrect, you are at the teen-ager/young adult stage of your life. And you are correct, you do have certain rights, as well as certain limitations and obligations. I am not unfamiliar with your sentiments, being the parent of four children who often displayed sentiments such as yours until they gained maturity.
You have been given good advice by others as to how to proceed to accomplish your desire without confrontation and anger.
If you want it bad enough, you can be good enough to achieve it.

oliver

but they wont even listen to me no matter what i say or do as soon as I start to say something they say no and walk away

any advice on how to get them to listen?

Well, first off you already have a bazillion tanks Jule. I can see why your parents would be unwilling to let you have a pond, too-- ponds are far more permanent and not as easy to transport. They may not understand the goldfish addiction, and thus not understand why you want MORE fish! What will happen when you move out in a few years? Then it will be their responsibility to take care of.

I agree with what Oliver and RHankins have said. I didn't have a very good relationship with my parents and when I was your age, I felt angry and like they were being unjust a lot. But in the end, it's they who own the house, who would buy all the things you need for a pond, and they who also clothe, feed, and house you. I learned to be more grateful for those things when I moved out on my own and realized how privileged I was to have a computer, a cell phone, and other very nice things. I also realized just how expensive it is to live out in the "real world." And yes, even as a teenager you have rights, but not necessarily a "right" to have a fish pond.

Your parents may be unwilling to listen to you because you've already been told "no." End of story. Like everyone else has said, you need to be calm and mature when you approach them with a strong gameplan. And if they still say no, you need to be prepared for that.

Can you live without a pond? Certainly. So you can learn to live without one, even if it's no fun. Besides, after you grow up a bit and move out and have your own place, you can build an even bigger pond and not have to be concerned about having to leave it behind.

Good luck, hope this was helpful.

but it wouldnt b permanent..all i want is a 100 gallon stock tank and i would buy it myself and i've tried asking them nicely so many times and they just wont listen always "too busy" although i dont see wats so important about watching their little tv shows to not listen to me even once. I've even tried writing them a letter but they just laughed at it

how can they expect me to b grateful for stuff if they never listen to me. But whenever my bro wants something he'll get it, like all the time when we come home she'll have some cool new thing for him and i'll ask if they got me anything they'll b like ..ihm no..but its all good cuz u got a can of fishfood (or something similar) last month..and they always listen to him cuz he's a whiny little brat!

You're in a tough situation Jule, and it's one very similar to how I felt (and still feel) about my parents.

I can definitely appreciate how you feel when they don't listen to you and favor your brother.

But when you say it's "only 100 gallon stock tank," you need to realize how big that really is! Especially considering your multiple tanks. You have a 125 gallon tank! I was lucky to have had my 20 gallon when I was in high school, and I paid for EVERYTHING from tank to water conditioner to food.

I know you feel rough about it, but what I would do is take a deep breath, maybe have a good cry about it, and then try to endure it. Put all your energy into the tanks and fish that you have now, and be grateful for the joy they bring to your life. Keep the stock tank as a dream for when you get out of there.

Good luck hon.

Well, you've been give some great advice hon. I also went through the same thing when I was your age. My mother always (and still does at this age, lol) favor my brother. Or sometimes it feels that way. I can tell you that a rocky relationship with your parents at this age carries over for years, sweetie.

You are 15 right now. In a matter of a few short years you will be out on your own to do as you please. I'm sorry they snickered at your letter-possibly they thought it was "cute". For your own peace, maybe the best thing to do is to drop it for now. Just think of how bad you would feel if you had to move out when you got older and leave your beloved fish and pond behind.

You may not believe this, but right now is going to be the best and most carefree years of your life. Enjoy it, savor it, and realize how lucky you really are. The more you butt heads with your parents, the more miserable you are going to be and the end result will never change with your pond. Just think of when you get your own place in a few years.

My sweet girl! Trust me,every single person that has responded to this thread has been where you are at in one compacity or another! Don't fret sweetie, it WILL all work out! I PROMISE!

Background infro: my dad was a teacher at my school my whole life, evryone knew my business! Not a single human being would date me because I was the coaches daughter. My younger siblings were WAY more PRECIOUS than I could be.

Sweetie, I can honestly say that almost every adult that has responded to this thread, at one time or another, has been in your shoes! They may not have been the same size of shoes or the same miles walked, but!!!! they have experienced similarities. GEEZE, it is a right of passage! Trust in it, someday it will give you power!

All right. Your current situation is not perfect as to your ideals. Sweetie, I went to the pet store the other day and they had a 350 gallon tank on sale for the same amount as the 50 gallon tank. Did I want it......what do you think? I had imaginings of perfection and dreams come true!! Practicality won over, I do NOT have room for the thing. Do I want it? OF COURSE! In my mind do I need it? OF COURSE!!! Can I afford the tank on sale? I could probably figure it out!!!!! Is it pracitible? NO. It is insane! "I" can hardly figure out my new 50 gallon! Do I need or want the responsibility or figuring out how to deal with that big of tank.....NOT UNTIL I AM A PROFESSIONAL!

Think about it! you and I are relative newbies (hence my name......you much more professional than I) compared to Trinket, Daryl, Koko, Pixiefish, etc! AND they still have questions at times!

UGh, can you even (not) imagine a worst case scenario and NOT HAVING KOKOS to help?!!!

I would serious...never own a fish again.

Take your time. Rationalize your choices! If you go off to college in 2-3 years, who exactly would take care of a pond? Unless you get your mom completely involved......they would not make it! Think of a pond as a dream that you WILL accomplish once you get your own place. Think how impressed your family will be at the thought of you doing exactly what you said you wanted when you were 15! Think about the utter awe that people will be in when you prove to everyone that you accomplished what you set out to do! Think about how amazing you will feel when it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, that the accomplishment and the satisfaction of having a lovely fish family is more important than the negatives, no's, or challenges.

You, my dear, are obviously on your way to great things! Think of this as a bump in the road! Trust me, all bumps can be navigated one way or another. Believe in yourself and your dreams! Believe in the "best interest at heart from your parents" and never think that you are not supported by them or us!

Your dreams are achievable! Sometimes patience is pain on the heart strings.

Do your best, believe in yourself! Maybe your passion for fish will lead you to a career where you can be surrounded by fishies 24/7! Oh how I wish I thought of that SEVERAL years ago!!!! When you become the head of an aquarium showcasing hundreds of species of fish and mammals, you being the head of the department, do you think you could send me a couple of tickets? LOL

If you just want to talk, outside fishy world you can send me an email at stephies_lc@msn.com

Think positive my girl, good things will happen!


PS Sorry for the 6000 word a day comment. I just wanted to let you know that I, like everyone else her at KOKOs is her for you! A sounding board of sorts!

Please, when I was KILLING all my fish (with inexperience and too much love) you were the first person on Kokos to respond. I can never express my thanks to the depth of my feelings on that one. EVER!!!! Thank YOU!


Feel free to email me with school questions or fish questions, even with my amateur advice! Koko's was there for me in my time of need ( as were you). I can try to be the best or give the best advice I am qualified for! Hang in there young lady! It WILL all work out eventually!!

Thank you for everything and all the advice you have given to me! It was much needed!

newbiefishgirl

Such a wonderful, inspiring post!

aww thanks for all the great advice guys . Well i thought i would try asking them one more time yesterday but they let me get in about 2 sentences before they told me to shut up...so I guess i'll have to give up for now i'll keep ur thoughts in mind though and one day I will get a pond.

When I asked my mom she gave me a good point...Who will take care of it when your gone? after she said that I stoped asking

well when i move out eventually i would take it with me ofcourse but no matter what i say she never agrees with me

Sweetheart, I am a grown adult and my mother is 73 years old. If she ever ever agreed with me on anything I would drop over dead!

Trust me. Sometimes its a mother/daughter thing. It will either pass or you'll get used to it, lol. And I can honestly tell you that once you have kids of your own, you may be surprised at how much your mother actually knew.

Its hard honey, but remember that whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger!