Yes, it is so hard watching goldfish suffer, and I think all of us here get very attached to our fish! I wonder if your fish is "eggbound"--I have heard of that on this board and maybe someone will comment on that.
I found this board right after my 8 year old common goldfish died and I was having all sorts of problems with some baby redcaps due to my lack of knowledge about tank cycling. I have learned so much and now test my water weekly and do partial changes, etc. I have some very healthy goldies that have really grown since I got them in July.
This board has wonderful people with a ton of knowledge and I welcome you!!!